Closer
by Laurelai99
Summary: Modern AU! Hiccup and Astrid just want to be with each other but have no idea the other feels the same way. Astrid has never been so nervous, but knows she needs to take the lead, while Hiccup is lost on how to show the only girl he's ever loved how he really feels. Hiccstrid smut
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Astrid could not fathom what had gotten into him lately. They'd been good friends for years, closer to each other than to any of the rest of their gang. They had always looked out for each other, always shared everything about their lives, and had even been each others first kiss. Second kiss... Third. all quick chaste pecks on the lips in their youth. But still. It had meant something to them. Both of their families had joked throughout their teen years that they'd be married some day.

Then, at 16, when he had started acting weird around her by stumbling over his words every time he tried to speak and never meeting her eyes, Astrid had felt like there was just too much pressure riding on him to make a move. She had backed off, knowing Henrik for the shy and self doubting person that he was. Just to give the guy room to breathe.

That was when she had casually started dating Connor to try and throw their families off from putting too much pressure on them. In the beginning, it seemed to have worked, and their friendship had grown back stronger than ever. But now, two years had passed and suddenly it felt like they were back in that awkward limbo of not knowing how to be around each other. And Astrid felt a pang in her chest everytime she noticed him back away or avoid her.

That familiar ache in her heart was felt as her eyes followed him while he swiftly walked out of their college library, wondering where he could possibly be headed when they both had a class in twenty minutes. She had a sinking feeling he had left after noticing her come in and sit down a little ways away from him. She frowned and looked back down at her notebook, trying to revise for the few minutes she had until their quiz, but knowing nothing would be retained in her memory. With another ache in her chest and a sigh, she shut her books and slung her backpack over her shoulder, figuring she might as well show up early to their class.

The walk to the engineering building was short thankfully, next door to the library with the winter-like cold blowing in spite of it being spring. When Astrid arrived in class, she faltered for a second, noticing Henrik had arrived earlier than she had, which was unlike him. And he seemed to be rereading his own notes and muttering to himself as he went, which continued even as Astrid plopped in the seat next to him, staring into his eyes that looked a little hollow and tired, determined to make him speak to her.

"Hiccup." she said. Using his nickname.

She continued to stare, but he did not seem to have noticed her there at all.

_"Hiccup!" _she called more forcefully as she leaned closer to him.

He jumped and his eyes darted to her icy blue ones and gasped when he noticed her eyes were inches from his own. Quickly leaning away and glancing at her pink lips then away again.

Huh. Astrid thought. that's new.

"Sorry, Astrid! I didn't notice you, ah, come in, was just, erm, reviewing for our quiz." he stammered.

"Oh please Hick, you're top of the class I doubt you'll have any trouble."

Her eyes scanned over his body at his outfit. Noticing he was wearing sweatpants. Which he never _ever_ wore.

Her brow pinched and she added softly, "are you alright?"

"Errr, yeah," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck and arousing her from her thoughts, "just a bit tired and I didn't get to review much last night."

There it was again. His eyes darted away from hers and it seemed his cheeks were tinged pink.

_What was going on with him?! _Astrid was worried now, but she was cutoff from saying anything as a quiz paper was placed down in front of her.

Fine. she figured. whatever it was, today after school she was getting an answer from him if it killed her. She hadn't been having a great time after dumping Connor a few weeks ago. Not that she was particularly heartbroken, but she had been missing his company more than ever. And with that note she turned her attention to her quiz.

Fourty-five minutes seemed to pass in the blink of an eye for Astrid, although she definitely could blame that on her distracted brain. She'd watched Hiccup leave their class after handing in his quiz in only 15 minutes, when she had barely finished answering the last question as her professor called to hand them in. Sighing, Astrid quickly gave in her paper and scurried to her car, fully intending on driving straight to Hiccups place after class to get down to the bottom of his recent awkwardness.

"Hiccup!" she yelled as she slammed open his front door, then winced at how angry she sounded.

She heard a yelp from his bedroom down the hall and a thud as something was knocked over. She approached the noise, calling out again more softly, "Hiccup?" and then she was pushing open his bedroom door to see him standing by his bed yanking a shirt over his head and kicking something else under the bed with the back of his heel.

He was clearly hiding something and she was going to figure out what it was. She walked in and reached for the object that had been uncerimoniously stuffed under the bed, all the while watching his green eyes that looked not only frightened but also exhausted, and was that... aroused? He gulped as her hands closed around it and she brought up a... picture album? Is this what he was so worried about?

"Hiccup, what...?" Astrid was even more confused now as she started flipping through the pages only to find photos of herself alongside Hiccup and the rest of their friends throughout their youth and teens, leading up to last year. There was Heather, and her brother Darien. The twins: Tommy and Romy Thorston. Then Scott Jorgenson, and Finn Ingerman. The pictures of her and Henrik alone outnumbered all the others combined though, and she felt a lump in her throat at that thought.

She hadn't even noticed she had sat down on his bed when he was suddenly tugging gently at the album as she reached the last few pages.

"Okay Astrid, I'm just going to take this back now. Why don't I make some tea and then we can, uh, talk about today's quiz! Yeah." he finished as he gave a more forceful tug only for a loose paper to slip out of the album and fall to the ground in front of Astrid. She just watched it fall until it was right at her feet and she realized that what she was looking at was a drawing of herself. An _erotic_ drawing of herself. She had to admit it wasn't untasteful, and the position she was drawn in simply covered her more intimate body parts and left that to the imagination. Which, she realized, might have been exactly what Hiccup had been doing as she'd barged in on him.

But she had no time to process that as suddenly with a small cry Hiccup was lunging forward and stuffing the picture back in the book. Quickly throwing it under his bed before grabbing Astrid's wrist and dragging her to the kitchen.

She allowed herself to be towed to his small kitchen and even sat down at the table when he pulled out a chair for her and gently pressed on her shoulders for her to sit. Her mind was racing as she kept trying to answer her own questions. Not realizing that Hiccup was babbling and banging around the kitchen for mugs and tea and the kettle, she finally came to tthe conclusion that there was no one else who could answer her questions for her.

Cutting him off she asked, "Hick what is going on with you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Henrik's whole body froze as her voice pierced through his nervous babbling. His hands were shaking on the handle of the kettle as he stood facing the sink, his back to Astrid. Her question ringing in his ears.

What on Earth was he supposed to tell her? This... this beautiful goddess that was his best friend whom he couldn't stop dreaming about having closer to him. Having her pose for him so his drawings of her could finally be more realistic and do her at least some of the justice she deserved. The girl he'd been too late to ask on a date for himself back when they were 16. Back when their parents were constantly joking with him that they'd be at their wedding soon enough.

It was so much pressure for an awkward kid like himself. Especially when that girl was Astrid. He just really didn't want to mess it up. Wanted to give her the world. And then... it had been too late. She had dated that Connor guy who Henrik had tried to hate, but who had actually been a nice guy. Someone he should thank really, who had allowed him to stay good friends with Astrid without the pressure of a relationship. But now that had been over for a few weeks and Hiccup had no idea what to do. Didn't even know why she had broken up with the guy. He simply had no idea how to comfort her when there was no one standing in the way of his desires to kiss her. To wipe her tears away and hold her closer than he ever had before, if she would let him.

Hiccup realized he'd been lost in his thoughts for a while when a gentle hand was placed on his shoulder making him jump out of his skin and bump his head on the cupboards above, simultaneously dropping the kettle he was holding in the sink with a loud crash.

Cursing and bringing a hand to clutch his sore head, he turned to see Astrid's piercing but playful blue eyes, and a hand pressed to her mouth holding back a small laugh.

"C'mere" she said, holding his hand and gently tugging him toward her and the couch, her gaze never dropping his own. He sat down with his back to the arm rest as she looked at his head. Her eyes were laughing, no doubt at his clumsiness and awkward nature, but her touch was gentle, and she didn't dare make fun of him for his poor coordination.

Hiccup groaned at his embarrassment. How would he ever be enough for this fierce but gentle, beautiful woman bending over him, gently checking the growing bump under his hair. Henrik's breath caught in his throat when she leaned up on her knees, bringing her breasts to his eye level. Memories of his dream last night flashed through his mind and he felt his arousal grow. He closed his eyes and tried to quash down more memories of the pictures he'd drawn of her over the years that were stowed away at the end of his photo album. The same ones he'd been using to help him handle his arousal when she'd barged into his place.

She paused and leaned back on her heels, the shift causing Henrik to open his eyes and glance at her. She looked back at him with an expression he'd never seen her wear before.

She glanced back at his head and said softly, "it just looks like a nasty bruise, just let me know if you start feeling dizzy."

"Hiccup. I don't know what's gotten into you lately but I need to know why you've been acting strange. Spare me no explicit details please." She spoke sternly, but paused. Then added more softly, "You know every single one of my dirty secrets. Please don't keep anything from me, I- I've really missed you." Her blue eyes shone with a longing he couldn't explain.

He finally resolved that the truth was what he owed her.

With a deep sigh he steeled his nerves and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Astrid I'm- I'm..." he swore he could have lost himself staring at her brilliant blue eyes for the rest of his life.

"completely in love with you," he breathed.

A weight seemed to lift from his chest as the words rushed through him and he held her gaze that seemed to intensify, hoping against all odds their friendship would survive this tension.

She placed a hand on his forearm, and asked, "for how long?"

"Since we were kids. When we were sixteen I wanted to ask you to be mine but I didn't know how. and then our parents just made it harder and you know me, the big _raw _viking I am," he joked while he pretended to puff up his chest and flex his muscles, drawing the most beautiful tinkering laugh from her lips. Giving him the strength to carry on, "I just had no idea how to ask you. You were my best friend, Astrid. You _are_ my best friend. No one in the world means more to me, and I just didn't know how to hold myself back when you and Connor broke up. So I tried to keep my distance but all I could think about was _you... Your-_ you." Hiccup gulped and his eyes darted away for a moment. Trying to reel in his thoughts about last nights dream- Astrid as a quivering, angelic, wet mess beneath him in his bed.

He forced himself to look back at her face only to notice she was inches away now.

Astrid ran a nervous hand over her braid and asked,

"What if I never wanted you to hold back?"


	3. Chapter 3

Wow okay so I'm new to this platform and had a much better draft of this about an hour ago but accidentally refreshed the page before hitting save and lost it... I'll probably need to update this whole story in the future but anyways to my like 6 followers, here you go.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

* * *

Before Henrik could process the fire in her eyes, he felt the warmth of her soft lips pressing against his own. His eyes were fluttering shut as her touch set his whole body aflame.

Astrid was nipping at his bottom lip as she pressed forward, pushing him into the arm rest, and before he knew it her hands were tangled in his hair at the base of his neck and he was gripping her to him with an arm around her waist and one holding her jaw. He felt as though his brain would melt right through his skull as their kiss deepened with their fervor, both grasping at each other as though the other would disappear. He hummed as she moved her lips down to his jaw... his throat... his collarbone. Where she was suddenly biting him and sucking a small hickey into his neck. His breath hitched, his nerves ablaze. He wanted to be hers completely, and having her mark him made him shudder with even more desire as his blood rushed south and left him feeling dizzy. He tried to catch his breath as she moved her lips slowly upwards along his neck, until her teeth found his earlobe and grazed across it as he gasped, his whole body shuddering in pleasure, while he squeezed her even closer.

"You really should never have distanced yourself, Hick."

She whispered by his ear, nuzzling her nose bthe edge of his jaw, before she was pressing soft kisses along it. He let go breathy moans, with his pleasure at finally having her in his wanting arms, kissing him, but it still just wasn't enough. Her eyes met his once more, brilliant blue alight with passion and excitement and she didn't need to say another word as she was pressing against his lips again. Her hands gliding down from the back of his neck, along his chest to the hem of his T-shirt. She started slowly grinding on his lap as she felt the bulge of his arousal beneath her, and it was almost too much for him.

He could not deny how much he desired her, and he was so hard it almost _hurt_. But this was _Astrid_. He broke apart from their kiss and pressed his forehead to her shoulder, gasping for air.

"Astrid- please, if you keep doing that I'm not going to be able to contain myself. I don't want to move too fast or for you to do anything you'll regret."

She moaned from atop him and reached to pull his head up to look at her.

"Who said I wanted you to contain yourself?"

She said, a glint of defiance in her eyes. She ground her hips down into his lap and drew a yelp from him as he bucked his hips up into her. Losing himself to his desires once more. Under a whirlwind of hands palming, grasping, and scratching, Henrik found himself gently groping her chest, though he couldn't remember moving his hands beneath her shirt. Henrik had just made his way down along her waist and was gripping her ass when a loud knock at his door sounded.

They jumped at the sound, only then becoming fully aware of how tightly they clung to each other, how warm and desperate they were. Henrik's cheeks flushed as his shy demeanour returned, his hands gently slipping up to a more chaste position at her waist. Astrid gave a feeble attempt to flatten her wild hair, grinning at him timidly as though she too was a little unsure of herself. A huge contrast to the wild wanting creature she'd just been, driving most of their actions. Just then, Tommy Thorstons voice rang through the door,

"Hiccup! I know you're home, we gotta get going you promised you'd help me set up."

Henrik groaned at the thought and swore as he gently lifted Astrid so he could slide out from under her and get the door. She looked at him in confusion, while he tried to smooth out the wrinkles in his clothes and went to let him in, opening the door as he heard,

"Hickey! Hick Hick Hiccccuuuu- Oh."

Glancing at his watch he noticed it was about dinner time and the fraternity brothers were likely already getting things in place. He stepped back to let Tommy in, who crossed the threshold stating,

"You're gonna need to change into a dress shirt bro, can't having you make a bad impression on my frat brothers!."

He was walking towards a very rumpled looking Astrid, whose eyes were bright with laughter again.

"Hiccup, at a frat party? That's very... new."

She giggled a little and he shrugged,

"what'd I tell you? Just too much raw viking power."

He was trying to make himself look bigger next to Tommy, who eyed him blankly. And she was laughing again, her whole face lit up in joy and Henrik thought there was not a sight he treasured more.

"Can I come?"

She asked the boys.

Tommy glanced at her and said, as he draped an arm over a grumbling Henrik,

"No siree, Astrid, set ups are only for fraternity brothers and their honorary bros. I, am the king and master of the blessed jungle juice! And Hiccup here is going to help me make today's batch. But! You are welcome to party with us after."

Astrid scoffed, but then suddenly glanced at Henrik, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

"Fine. I'll be there later just give me the time and place."

Tommy pulled out his phone and texted her the time and address. Before her phone had even beeped with the incoming message she was out the door though, eyeing Henrik funnily and calling,

"I'll see you guys later then!"

He groaned as she left, confused and frustrated. Rubbing his eyes to try and clear his head, he went to go change to follow Tommy out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Astrid was reeling. Her whole body hummed as she drove to the flat she shared with Heather, arriving with barely any memory of how she'd gotten there. She slammed the door open and yelled.

"Heather!"

It took a moment before the dark haired girl was stumbling over herself and scurrying towards her down the hall, hair dripping wet and clutching a robe around her, clearly having been disrupted mid-shower.

"What! What is it? Where's the danger?"

Her wild eyes and fighting stance calmed when she took in Astrid's appearance, carefully studying her face. Then she grinned.

"You finally made a move on Hiccup! It's about damned time!" she shouted.

Astrid shot her a bewildered look, momentarily forgetting her reasons for needing Heather's urgent help.

"How do you _do_ that?"

"Easy. It's Thursday, which means you just had class with Hiccup, well, that was_ over _an hour ago So you definitely were with him after class. Your hair looks a mess, and your lips look swollen and red, so you've either been kissing or sucking his-"

"Okay! Okay!" Astrid cried to stop her, holding up a hand and clutching her head with the other.

"Normally I'm all for discussing boys with you, but this is _Hiccup_. Okay. We've been best friends since we were kids. I really don't have a clue what I'm doing but I definitely need help finding something to wear tonight for this frat party Tommy is dragging him to." She'd finally come to her senses and remembered the reason for drawing Heather out of her shower.

Heathers eyes softened, no longer teasing. And she smiled, grabbing Astrids hand and pulling her down the hall toward her wardrobe.

"Okay, Astrid. I get it. But you guys have been in love with each other for just as long as you've been friends. I know you _just_ broke up with Connor, but I don't even think he thought he was any match for Hiccup. So if you're asking me to help you stun at this party, I gotta tell you, Hiccup would be all over you even if you showed up in sweatpants."

Astrid blushed, never before having felt so nervous and wondered if this was what Henrik had felt back when they were sixteen and their parents had been joking with him about them getting married. If this was what that had been like, she couldn't blame him for pulling back. The stakes were just so high.

"Here," Heather said, handing over an outfit for her to try on. "This will do, I think."

Astrid _hated_ frat parties. She was more the type to have a few close friends over for drinks and games. Not big on overflowing houses with music so loud she couldn't think. Yet there she was, walking straight into the belly of the beast, ears ringing with the noise.

She wasn't even through the doorway to the main room and had already shoved away two boys who had tried to strike up a conversation as well as grab at her.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting when she made it through to the main room where most of the frat brothers were, but she sure as hell wasn't expecting what she walked in on...

Hiccup was taking a knee in the middle of a crowd of people, Tommy next to him, holding a beer bong above his head. everyone was shouting, and it was only once Astrid had squeezed her way into the circle of spectators that she heard what they were chanting.

_"C__hug! Chug! Chug!_

Hiccup had finished it off in record timing, and when he stood up he looked a little woozy. Scratching his neck and grimacing as the people closest to him whooped and thumped him on the back. He could not have looked more uncomfortable, but he noticeably relaxed when his eyes locked on Astrid in the crowd, his grimace turning into a grin. She pushed through towards him, finally managing to grasp a part of his sleeve before yanking him along behind her. Astrid already felt her clothes damp with sweat from the sheer amount of people that surrounded her no matter where she walked.

Finally, after climbing the stairs to reach the second floor, she spotted what she'd been searching for. Dragging a still woozy Hiccup, she pushed through the double balcony doors with one hand to feel the relief of the cool night air on her face. She rounded on Hiccup.

"_Why_ on Earth did you chug that?"

There was a a hint of worry in her voice, but her eyes shone with laughter. She knew he wasn't in serious danger after a single beer bong chug, but it was so _not_ his style that she couldn't help her incredulity.

Hiccup had sat down on a lawn chair that was by the railing overlooking the front yard, and he laughed at her question.

"They wouldn't let me go with- without chugging it. I dunno really. It was after ten cup beer pong and mmm lots of flip cup."

He had hiccoughed mid sentence and his words were slightly slurred. Astrid furrowed her brow, realizing he was quite a bit more drunk than she'd thought.

His eyes were finally scanning her body, and he slurred another sentence together.

"Woah Astrid. You loo- look beautiful. Although you do in sweats too. Mmmm."

Words seemed to have failed him by that point, and Astrid took a moment to calm the hammering in her chest. Mentally cursing Heather for knowing everything.

Ignoring his previous statement, she knelt in front of him, gently grabbing his face.

"Hick, we're gonna get you some water okay? Tell me if you feel sick."

She grabbed his hands and hefted him to his feet, tugging him gently back down the stairs. He hummed as he followed along, not seeming to have a care in the world and Astrid wished he could be that light and carefree all the time. She sighed at her current predicament. She had just wanted to come and have an easygoing time at this party with Hiccup, thinking maybe in a different setting he would have had an easier time explaining himself. She was desperate to talk about _them_, to see what he really wanted and talk about how they could reconnect and try to make it work. It looked like that talk would have to wait.

Her thoughts were even more jumbled when she'd finally tugged him into the kitchen, only to feel him wrap his arms around her waist and nuzzle into her neck. Astrid was in heaven wrapped in his embrace, but she knew he was teetering on the edge of not even remembering his night. She really didn't want anything to happen without him remembering, and while it was difficult to push him off, she gently pried his arms from her waist and turned to face him.

Astrid laughed as he sloppily pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth, unsure if he had been aiming for her lips or her cheek. Either way, her heart melted. She couldn't help but think that he definitely wanted her, so she would just have to coax him into being more open about how he felt when he was sobered up.

Pressing him back a little, she handed him a cup of tap water, making sure to help him hold it as his eyes were out of focus and he looked like he was about to spill it everywhere. As he drank, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek so he wouldn't think she wanted to push him away completely.

He stopped at that and put the cup down on the counter, squinting at her slightly and pouting.

"You missed!" he said.

She couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of her as she watched him. His pout growing more.

"Astrid. I reeeeeally want to kiss you."

He stared into her eyes as she contemplated what to do. She desperately wanted to kiss him and finish what they'd started in his apartment, but she knew it was not the time for that. She decided she should just get him to talk some more, hoping to get him going into a typical Hiccup drabble before she could get him home.

"Why do you want to kiss me, Hick?" she asked him, as she simultaneously texted Heather requesting she come pick them up. Putting her phone away, she turned her undivided attention back on Hiccup, just as he got started.

"Astrid I've been absolutely in lo-love with you since we were kids. I don't know what else to say. You're beauuutiful, and smart, and _funny_. but you're also my bestfriend and you... you know me and you accept me. And, and, and you encourage me when most people think I'm weird."

Suddenly his eyes were raking down her body again, and Astrid's cheeks flushed at the pure desire, and longing in his eyes.

"And oh my gods you look nice in that skirt but you also look nothing like the other girls here. You're classier. And you look. look. So goooooooood. Astrid. But you look prettiest in your sweatpants at home. When youre com-comfortable."

His eyes started to droop shut as he leaned against the counter. Astrid could do nothing but stare at him in wonder and even let him snake an arm around her waist as he rested his lolling head into her shoulder. Still slurring slightly, but voice sounding more gravelly and tired with the alcohol that was catching up to him at last, he continued on.

"And I just want to have you forever. And wake up with you and make love to you."

His voice dropped to a whisper as his arm loosened, and Astrid couldn't tell if he really knew she was still there.

"Gods Astrid I want to fuck you so bad. I wanna make you wet and go down on you until you can't... can't take it. And I wanna be there to do anything you need. Sexual or otherwise."

Astrid gulped as a fire grew inside her. She wanted to jump him. This was exactly what she wanted to hear from Hiccup in a _sober_ state. She might just have to remind him of his words in the morning, but she wasn't sure if she'd make it through that conversation without mounting him. The thoughts made her head spin.

Thankfully, her phone buzzed signaling Heather was outside, just as Hiccup slumped onto her. She heaved him up to his feet but he seemed to manage following her even in his semi-conscious state. Astrid was huffing with the effort of half dragging him through the crowded house by the time they reached Heathers car.

"What happened? Is he okay?"

Astrid nodded as Heather helped her seat him in the backseat.

"Yeah, Tommy and the rest of the boys got him wasted though. I think he just needs to sleep it off."

"Should I drive to his place then? Or are we just going to let him crash at ours?"

Astrid didn't miss a beat.

"Ours."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Henrik's head was pounding. He clapped a hand to his forehead and groaned as he felt the room spin. Trying to yank the blanket over his face, a grumble sounded from next to him. Confused, he reached a hand out with his eyes still shut, feeling for whatever was next to him.

When he touched the smooth skin of another person, he yelped and jolted into a sitting position finally snapping his eyes open, only to have another wave of nausea roll through him.

He moaned in his agony, when a gentle hand reached out to rub his back. Astrid's voice sounded in the morning calm.

"Hiccup, there's a pale next to you on the floor if you need to be sick, but please just rest and take it easy. I'll be back with some water."

Henrik's eyes were still squeezed tightly shut, but he heard soft footsteps as Astrid left the room, and the sound of running water in the kitchen. When he heard her come through the doorway he opened his eyes to watch her come sit on the bed, wordlessly handing him a glass of water as she scanned his face.

He smiled weakly at her as he took it, lifting the cup to his lips with shaky hands as his eyes fluttered shut again. A few sips later, Astrid gently rested a hand on his shoulder as she took the glass from his hands and set it down. She nudged him to lie back down but Henrik just couldn't get comfortable, feeling like the world was flipping upside down and then back up again. He tried to take deep breaths to relax his body, but it only seemed to worsen the spinning.

"Astrid... I can't..."

His voice was so raspy it hurt, and he groaned again at his inability to do anything or to explain himself. Astrid seemed to understand him though, because next he was being tugged up back into a seated position, and felt her prop his pillows up behind him. The pale from the side of the bed was then placed in his lap as gentle fingers started running through his hair.

"Mmmmmm."

The nausea hit him all at once. Maybe it was the water he had drank that was finally reaching his stomach, or just the movement of sitting up again.

"Ast..."

Either way, he could only choke out her name in the hopes she would turn away from him, before he was retching into the pale.

His throat was burning and his eyes were streaming with his exhaustion, but he actually felt a little better. As though the room had slowed in spinning on its invisible axis. Two more retches later and he could only dry heave with nothing left in his stomach. Astrid's hand running through his hair had never wavered, eventually moving down to soothe him by gently rubbing his back. Henrik's whole body felt clammy and he whimpered at having Astrid see him this way, even touching his sweat sheened back. But it also warmed his heart that she cared enough to disregard his less than pleasant state. She must have, to watch over him all night. He'd never been this drunk to need taking care of before.

As he leaned back into the pillows he stole a glance at the clock. It was barely three in the morning, and he grumbled an apology to her before sleep overtook him once more.

* * *

Henrik awoke to the sun streaming through the window, groaning at his headache and impossibly dry mouth. His whole body ached, and he lay staring at the dust motes floating through the air before he realized he wasn't in his own bed. Bolting upright in a panic, he realized this was Astrid's room. Her bed sheets a much brighter blue than his own, and her unique collection of dragon figurines from the video game they both played on her bookshelf. Then he spotted the clothes she'd been wearing last night in a messy pile on the floor by the door, and glancing down noticed he was naked but for his boxers. But Astrid wasn't in bed so maybe she'd slept somewhere else? But then, no. He had a vague memory of her hand running through his hair, on his back.

He started really panicking then. Did he and Astrid...? He felt slightly sticky with cooled sweat, and his heart beat thundered through his ears. He glanced at the clock to see it was almost noon. _Why _couldn't he remember anyhing? There was the jungle juice mixing with Tommy, and then the rest of the setup had been done so quickly that the frat brothers had just started partying early. They'd played several rounds of beer pong and flip cup, and then he remembered Tommy bringing out the beer bong. They had all cheered him on and in his already tipsy state, Henrik had been easily pressured into chugging the two beers they poured into it for him. and then he remembered seeing Astrid in the crowd of growing partygoers. Gods she had looked amazing. Not usually one to dress up, but she looked beautiful in her tight skirt and matching top, blue had always suited her. But after that, he was drawing a blank. His memory from then until now was just empty, save for the feeling he had that he'd been up in the middle of the night for some reason.

He wanted to find her immediately, but figured he should at least wash up first. And so hobbled on shaky legs to her bathroom to use some mouth wash and try to mop up his sweaty skin with a face cloth. Feeling slightly refreshed, he made his way towards the sounds in the kitchen, still dressed only in boxers as he had no idea where his clothes had gone.

He found Astrid cooking, dressed in an oversized button up that wasn't opaque enough to block him from seeing her red underwear and braless frame through the thin material. And then he noticed Heather sitting at the kitchen table finishing off her coffee with a little smirk, before she was up and slinging her backpack over her shoulder saying a quick goodbye to Astrid and a bright goodmorning to Hiccup with a mischievous glint in her eye, before she was out the door on her way to class.

Astrid had turned when Heather said goodbye and saw that Hiccup was standing there in his boxers. She smiled at him as his face warmed when he noticed he could also see her nipples through the shirt, quickly lifting his eyes back to hers.

"I'm making some BLT sandwiches, if you're up for food. Though I can't imagine you're not starving right now."

She turned back to the stove and Henrik slid his shaky legs down into a chair before askind her,

"Astrid what happened last night? What did I do? Did we...?"

As he trailed off she popped some bread in the toaster and then turned to him with a laugh, leaning back on the counter. Henrik gulped at the position she was in that really left her breasts out in the open, her thin shirt hiding almost nothing.

"Hick you got wasted last night, I'm sure no thanks to Tommy. I stayed at the party less than an hour before I called Heather to pick us up because you were passing out on me. We talked, you said some things, and then I decided to bring you here instead of your place because you were so drunk I was afraid you were going to choke on your vomit in your sleep. You also threw up on yourself when we got home so I took off your clothes and now they're in the wash. Then you woke up at three A.M. and puked like four more times before you passed out again. Now, here we are."

His face felt warm with his embarrassment at making a complete mess of himself. But he released a long breath of air in relief that nothing else had happened. He paused.

"Wait, I said some things? What does that mean?"

"Oh don't worry about it too much. We'll get there."

She smirked at him and crossed her arms, squeezing her cleavage together and Henrik had to look down at the table to stop from staring, her previous statement completely lost on him. Gods he wanted her.

His stomach growled audibly just then, relieving some of the tension he felt as she laughed and turned back to the food. It only took a few moments for her to assemble the last few ingredients before she was serving him his plate. She also fetched him a very tall glass of water before joining him to eat. He was grateful for that though, and gulped it down entirely before even starting on his sandwich.

Astrid was moaning in delight at her food. And he felt himself stir at the noises she was making. Arousing him after seeing her practically nude in the barely there night clothes she was wearing. When he turned to look at her, he could have sworn he saw a smirk on her face before she quickly glanced back at her food.

It wasn't long before they were done, and Astrid proposed what they could do with their day as neither of them had classes.

"Do you want to stay over and watch a movie while we wait for your clothes to dry?"

He shrugged, not having anything better in mind, and not having the energy for anything else.

"Sure."

She immediately got up to clear the plates away, but Henrik stopped her, grabbing the dishes and taking them to the sink so he could cleanup.

"Astrid you can choose a movie, you took enough care of me last night, let me clean up the kitchen for you."

She smiled sweetly at him and moved towards the living room.

When Henrik had finished with the dishes he turned towards the living room, and saw her bending over as she was popping a DVD into the player, her shirt being pulled up so her ass and red cheeky underwear were visible from his angle, as well as the silhouette of her hanging breasts through her shirt, lit up by the sun through the window behind her. Hiccup gulped and paused. Trying to breathe deeply and calm himself down as he felt himself grow semi hard. He was in nothing but boxers, and it showed. He quickly shuffled toward the couch where a thick blanket was draped over the back, and snatched it up to throw over himself before he plopped down. Forcing his eyes to look outside instead of Astrid's curvy bottom.

She plopped down next to him and yanked some of the blanket towards her, thankfully leaving him enough to cover his lower half. But then she was curling up next to him and placing her head on his lap, dangerously close in that if she moved an inch, he would be poking at her cheek with a part of himself he wasn't certain she would be okay with having in her face. She grabbed one of his hands and placed it on her hair, asking him to play with it as the movie started.

This wasn't quite an unusual way for them to spend an afternoon. They had done so probably a hundred times before, but Henrik had never been so aroused during one of their quiet afternoons like this, and he kept shifting in his discomfort as she purred and mewled in satisfaction of his hand running through her hair. They weren't thirty minutes into the movie when she sat up and turned to him, placing a hand on either of his thighs and making him gulp.

"Is there something the matter, Hick?"

They were eye to eye then, and her face was dangerously close to his. So close, if he glanced down he was sure he would be able to see her bare cleavage through the neck of her loose shirt. He gulped as he forced himself to keep his eyes on hers, when suddenly she was leaning in closer. When there was nothing but a breath of space between them, she asked,

"Anything... I can help you with?"

She was grinning, and Henrik realized she was _teasing _him. He made a noise like a growl in the back of his throat and Astrid's eyes darkened. He leaned in closer, brushing his lips against hers before telling her,

"You're playing with fire Astrid, be careful."

His voice husky and deep in his state of arousal.

That set her off though and she was suddenly kissing him fiercely and climbing onto his lap, the movie playing behind her forgotten entirely. His whole body warmed as she straddled him, her nails raking across his chest as she swiped her tongue across his bottom lip asking for entrance. He had his hands tangled in her hair as she continued kissing him, their tongues now battling for dominance, but he moved them down across her back to grip her ass. She gasped into his mouth as he squeezed, and then ground her hips against his erection, now at full mast in his boxers. Her shirt had shifted, and one shoulder had fallen halfway down her arm, leaving one of her boobs exposed to him. He moved his mouth down to suck the hardened nipple into his mouth as she rutted against his lap again.

Giving the bud a light nip with his teeth, he felt her shudder in his arms. She was suddenly pulling back to yank the shirt over her head, leaving her in nothing but lace panties while sitting astride the blanket that covered him. He moaned at the sight of her naked chest, in disbelief that someone so divine could be kissing him, wanting him, and undressing for him.

"Henrik. What are you waiting for?"

He realized he'd been staring, but was jolted from his reverie when she called him by his full name. It was rare she did that, but he actually found he was aroused by it. Giving another growl he suddenly flipped them so he was lying on top of her across the couch, letting the blanket fall away so nothing but their underwear separated them.

"You're doing dangerous things to me by calling me that."

He whispered before he began kissing down her jaw and her breasts. When he reached her naval he paused, looking at her for permission to go further.

"Gods, please don't stop. _Henrik_."

He kept his eyes on hers as he pressed one more kiss just below her belly button. Then watched her face as he dragged her underwear down her legs so slowly it was almost torture, before tossing them to the side. He watched her moan in frustration at his speed, but then looked down to appreciate the sight of her naked body beneath him. He placed a kiss on the pearl just above her pink lips, inhaling deeply at the musky scent of her, when she jerked.

Glancing up at her face to see her watching him, her chest heaving up and down breathlessly when he grinned, slinging a leg over each shoulder. He then kissed her lower lips before licking the full length of her slit, moving upwards to circle her clit with his tongue, earning himself her hands in his hair. He moved back down to shove his tongue inside her, reveling at the taste of her and how wet she already was for him. He tested different movements, taking note of what made her moan loudest or grip his face to her most. After working up a rhythm, he found she liked best when he sucked on her clit, and moved one hand from around her thigh to work inside her, thrusting his fingers and curling them to hit just the right spot inside her. Making her buck on his face with a cry. Knowing she was close, he pulled his face away and stopped moving his fingers, teasing her. She groaned in frustration and instead of pushing him back down into her, she pulled him up towards her face.

When they were eye to eye again, Henrik felt his cock poking right between her legs through his boxers and he felt her shiver. Then she punched him.

"Hey!"

"That's for teasing me!"

It hadn't been hard enough to hurt him, so he just laughed and kissed her again, grinding his clothed shaft along her slit. With a moan, Astrid was suddenly reaching for his boxers and pulling them down to let his hard member spring up to rest against his stomach. She gasped as she looked at it.

"Oh my gods you're big. Fuck Henrik."

She reached between them to put a hand around his shaft and he moaned as he realized her fingers couldnt quite meet around him. And then she was guiding him towards her warm and wet thighs where he rubbed himself along her through her wetness as they gasped in unison. She tried to move her hips to allow him to slip inside completely, but he paused, holding her still.

"Astrid once we do this there's no going back okay, why don't we just move a little more slowly?"

"Hick, I'm literally so wet Im dripping, and I haven't even come yet. what makes you think I don't want this?"

"Astrid I don't know, you just broke up with someone... Can we just slow down a little?"

Her brow was furrowed as she looked up at him, but she nodded after a beat.

"Okay. But we're still going to fuck eventually. I need you."

And then she was back to kissing him while she still tried to rut against him from below. He got the message and slid his shaft along her slit once more, slow and torturous, making sure the head of his manhood brushed against her clit before moving back down. He kept sliding through her sopping wet core until he felt her stomach clench, and then she was jerking and writhing in his arms as he felt her come drip down through her crack and onto his balls. He was so aroused he almost came with her, as the sounds she made were heavenly, something he wanted to hear again and again. As she came down from her high and his gentle rubbing through her slit had slowed down, she sat up straight, pushing him to sit back before she got off the couch to kneel between his thighs on the floor.

She grinned at him before the tip of him was in her mouth, and Henrik gasped at the warm soft flesh that was sucking around him. She moved her head further down before he hit the back of her throat, and she added a hand to pump the part of his shaft that she couldn't reach with her mouth. Her tongue circled the head once before she was moving down and sucking again, then moving back up to circle the head again. He moved his hands into her hair to help guide her rhythm. In his already hyperaroused state, it didnt take him long before he felt his balls tighten, and choked out quickly,

"Astrid, I'm coming. Move."

As he tried to nudge her head off his shaft. She stubbornly stayed and sucked for all she was worth as he bucked into her mouth. The first jet of his warm come hitting the back of her throat as he let out filthy sounds and cursed. He kept bucking as spurt after spurt filled her until it was dripping out of the corners of her mouth down his shaft. He had filled her entire mouth and more and could feel her swallowing as he finally softened between her cheeks. He was panting as he felt her finally release him from her lips, returning to lick up the few drops she'd accidentally missed. She grinned when their eyes met after she'd climbed up his body to straddle him again. He kissed her sweetly in wonder.

"You didn't have to do that for me."

He spoke as he brushed the hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ear.

"Mmm. But I wanted to. I _like_ doing that, and I would _love_ to do it again as soon as you're ready."

Henrik wasnt sure what to make of that. He had already confessed to being in love with her. Knew that she knew he was aroused by her, and he guessed he knew she was also aroused by him. But he wanted to know exactly where he stood with her, whether this could ever be more, or if she just needed him as a rebound.

Now it was her turn to come clean.

"What do you want me to be to you, Astrid?"


	6. Chapter 6

Astrid gazed into his piercing green eyes. She guessed she owed it to him. He had come completely clean about what he wanted while he was drunk, had even told her sober that he was in love with her.

As she sat naked in his lap she realized that all of her advances on him had been sexual in nature, and she couldn't blame his desire to know what exactly she wanted. She would've wanted to know the truth too in his position.

Giving him a soft smile so he would know she was just thinking and not avoiding his question, she watched her hands as she traced nonense patterns across his skin. Reveling in being capable of making him shiver as he did just then.

The nerves she felt when she had asked Heather to help her find something to wear the day before returned. Astrid _wanted_ Henrik. She'd always known that, had wanted him physically and emotionally since she'd hit puberty. She had always been good with knowing what she wanted, had rarely ever stepped down from getting those things too. But now it had been so long since she'd really let herself want him. Had allowed those true and honest desires to bubble up to the surface. And she was nervous about his own anxieties. If she kept this physical, she wouldn't risk the possibility of emotions getting hurt. If she kept this physical, she could maybe keep him from the onslaught of his own anxieties.

As those thoughts passed through her head, she knew they would never be true. This was _her_ and _Henrik_, gods, their lives had been intertwined practically since birth. There was no physicality without feelings when it came to him. She knew that, but what if she messed it up?

_You're being an idiot, Astrid. C'mon. _She thought to herself.

Steeling her nerves before letting herself spiral down that rabbit hole, she took a deep breath.

"I want you, Henrik."

Staring into his warm and adoring green eyes, she felt the courage she needed bubble through her.

"I don't just mean that in a physical sense, I mean I've wanted you since we were kids, since before you looked like _this_," she said gently, motioning to all of him, as she felt his grip on her tighten. "You are my _best_ friend, Hick, and I can't imagine life without you." Smiling at him fondly, she placed a sweet kiss on his lips, and then leaned back to continue. "But I don't want you to struggle like you did when we were sixteen. I don't want you to avoid me like you've been doing the past few weeks. I don't know if I can handle you having that kind of anxiety again, knowing it was because of me. So if we do this, you can't push me away, isolate yourself, or hide from me, okay? I need you."

She chanced a glance back into his eyes, and noticed the piercing stare he had locked on her. Eyebrows slightly knit in confusion.

He pulled her face close and she melted into the kiss he gave her. So unlike the rough passionate ones they'd shared before, this one was full of sweetness and adoration. But she knew he had something on his mind and he pulled away quickly.

"Astrid, I don't want to touch on any subjects that might be sore for you at the moment but," He paused. A beat passed as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "What happened with Connor? If you say you wanted me all those year ago, then why-?"

He didn't need to finish his question for Astrid to understand what he was getting at.

"Well... when we were sixteen I could tell you were acting weird from all the pressure everyone was putting on you, all the teasing you were getting. I overheard your parents asking you when you were going to ask me out more than once when I was at your house, and you always acted strange afterwards. I couldn't bear the toll it was taking on our friendship, and, well... Connor asked me out at some point and I said yes just so that you could relax around me again. I never planned to date him for that long... But, well. I did end up caring about him, but the reality was... that he was never going to be you." She finished quietly.

She gasped as suddenly she was being crushed to his chest in a hug. Lifting her arms to reach around him and return it she let out a laugh. A few moments pased before she spoke again.

"Hick, please promise me if you're nervous about something you'll talk to me though? And... let's not label this yet, that'll feel a bit forced."

When she pulled back to look for confirmation in his eyes, he was smiling so fondly she felt a pang in her chest. His eyes so warm she could feel her insides melting.

"Of course," he breathed. And then he was kissing her again. Lazily rubbing his hands up her back and sending tingles down her spine, while his teeth nipped at her bottom lip and then his tongue gently teased along it. She allowed him entrance, and their kiss slowly grew more passionate and heated. She started moving her hips along his as she pressed closer to him, feeling his arousal grow once more. He moaned into her mouth, and Astrid moved to kiss his neck, gently sucking and biting his skin as she moved. She raised her mouth to whisper in his ear.

"How about a reward for that promise?"

She smirked as she gently nudged him to turn and lay back against the arm rest of the couch, and pushed one of his knees outward so that his foot rested on the floor and she would have room between his legs. Gently gripping his member that stood at half mast, she slowly stroked him as she watched him let his head fall back against the couch and groan. Grinning, she quickened her pace until he was fully erect and ready for round two. She popped his head into her mouth and licked the precum that dripped from him. Swirling her tongue around the head once, she then started to bob up and down slowly. Unable to make it very far down his length before he was blocked by the back of her throat, she added a hand to the base of him to stroke in sync with her mouth. Building up a steady rhythm, it wasn't long before his hands had thread through her hair and were desperately trying to hold her steady as he thrust upward into her mouth. Sure he was seconds from reaching his end, Astrid pulled away completely, ignoring his hands in her hair and pretending she needed a breather.

At Hiccup's groan in frustration she gave him a wicked grin, and after a few moments went right back to work, leaning between his legs on the couch and licking up the entire underside of his shaft from base to tip, before covering him with her wet mouth once more. The infuriating teasing continued, Astrid stopping completely everytime he was close, until Henrik was gasping and begging, holding her shoulders in place so she would understand his desperation. She imagined it was taking every shred of self control he had to not hold her head down and just thrust senselessly down her throat.

"Ast- Astrid, _please!_"

His voice was high pitched and strained, and she finally gave in and moved her mouth downwards, sucking in for all she was worth. One hand rested on his hip, from her attempts to hold him still, and she felt the muscles clench beneath her fingers, heard him grunt and groan as his hips jerked and his legs tensed. He was coming undone easily after being brought to the edge so many times. And after she swallowed the first jet of his warm seed, his body jerked again as more of his come rocketed into her mouth. She stayed hovering over him, mouth glued to his cock and sucking at his come, but it took several thrusts and jerks more before he was completely empty, and Astrid had honestly had a hard time keeping up with his climax. There was just so much of him that had spilled into her mouth.

Releasing his softening cock from her mouth, Astrid wiped her face with the back of her hand. She was amazed at just how much had spilled out of him and her body shivered as she inagined him one day releasing his seed inside a different part of her body. She crawled up his torso as he groaned and tried to catch his breath, wrapping her arms around him and settling into his chest.

"I would return that favor," he said breathlessly, "but I think I might actually be dead."

Astrid giggled at him.

"Also still hungover. I'm just... I need a nap. I can't move. And my brain is mush. Thank you. Ugh. Nap. Okay."

She laughed again at his silly antics and climbed off of him to retrieve their forgotten clothes. She retreated to her bedroom to put on real loungewear instead of the skimpy see-through nightgown she'd worn that morning to seduce Hiccup, and grabbed his things from the dryer. She left his clothes folded by the side of the couch, and climbed back into his arms with a blanket, draping it over them, and settling in for a nap, as Hiccup was already half asleep.

xx

When they awoke a couple of hours later, still tangled in each others arms, they couldnt help but smile at each other.

"How you feeling?"

"Still a bit like Jello, but at least my head isn't pounding anymore."

He leaned up, pulling her with him, having spotted his clothes on the floor next to them. She climbed off of him as he started pulling them on, no longer sitting naked on her and Heather's couch.

"Mmmm. I'm glad. Did you want to go home, or are you up for some dragon hunting? We haven't played in a while, and I miss kicking your butt."

"Oh you're so on!"

Astrid went to pop the game in to the console and grabbed the remotes, returning to plop herself down on the ground with her back between Hiccup's shins, one arm draped over his knee.

They played for hours, laughing and talking, and gently carressing each other as they went as well. Everything felt even more comfortable with Hiccup now that they'd spoken about what they wanted, and Astrid was relieved.

When Heather came home from her long day of classes around dinner time, they were still laughing, and play fighting, trying to sabotage each other as they played their favorite video game. Astrid had moved to sit next to him on the couch at some point, she couldn't remember when. But the way they moved together, stealing kisses and poking at each other as the other would gain a lead, sometimes even throwing their whole body over the others to distract them from the game, was effortless. It felt so natural and wonderful Astrid thought her heart might burst. When she noticed Heather standing in the doorway watching them with a small grin on her face, she could do nothing but smile back, her cheeks sore and aching with just how much smiling and laughing she'd done that day.

Finally, her and Henrik were where they were supposed to be.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Henrik wasn't sure what had gotten into Astrid.

That entire weekend after deciding they would be more than just friends, though not quite dating, had been spent lazily enjoying each others company. They'd worked on assignments together and played more of their favorite video game, never missing the opportunity to _feel_ each other as kisses were shared in generous servings between essay breaks and around games, hands grazed the backs of hands and along shoulders, and knees knocked at the table. All constant assurances that after such a long and bumpy road, the other was simply _there_.

And while those two consecutive nights had been spent exploring each others bodies in the dark, learning just the right strokes and touches that were needed to send each other toppling blissfully over the edge, they had yet to actually have sex. They were taking their time, and Henrik was enjoying the slow build.

After the weekend was over they agreed that spending every night in the same bed would be too much like living together, and decided to part ways for the sake of slowing down. So Henrik had returned to his lonely apartment, feeling like someone had wrapped a fist around his heart and was slowly trying to crush him from the inside out. He missed her fiercely already. The adoration and longing he'd once felt had grown into a burning fire over just a few days. The only reason he kept pushing for then to take it slow was because he was already completely in love with her and he was terrified of messing it up.

And so they made plans to go on their first real date that Thursday. Everything felt like it was going smoothly. Passing steadily through all the regular checkpoints of a typical new relationship.

But now, it was Thursday, and Astrid was running her hand up and down his leg in the middle of class and making it impossible to focus. He chanced a sidelong glance at her, but she seemed unaware she was even doing anything to him, still focused on their professor and taking notes. There was only ten minutes left of the lecture to go, and Henrik tried desperately to focus on the information that seemed to be flowing straight over his head.

He closed his eyes and tried to tune out his senses, everything but his straining ears.

Her warm, soft hand moved from his knee, gently stroking higher... Higher... Higher... His breath hitched, as she gently squeezed his thigh, right at the point where his leg bent into his hip, her fingers gently grazing his cock. His eyes snapped open to her face, to see her still focused on writing her notes, but the faintest hint of a smirk graced her lips, the tiniest upturn of the corners of her mouth.

She was doing it _on purpose_.

Henrik determinedly faced the front again, staring at the professor. He could handle his girlfriend trying to tease him for a few minutes, he could- _Oh! _

A small gasp left his mouth that he quickly covered in a cough. She had started to rub his cock through his pants, blatant disregard for where they were. He glanced at her face again, saw her grinning down at her notes, as her hand worked him, gently squeezing and stroking. Grateful they were at least sat in the back corner of the room, the lecture hall half empty around them.

He bit back a groan as he felt himself get painfully hard in his pants, itching for relief. The slow torture continued for what felt like an eternity. And then finally, it stopped. When Henrik opened his eyes, people were rising from their seats to leave, as was Astrid, while Henrik tried to regain control of his labored breathing.

He did groan then, frustrated as he got out of his seat, awkwardly carrying his bag in front of him. They made their way to the parking lot to get home, Astrid dragging him along by the hand.

Suffice to say, the car ride home was a distracted one. Astrid didn't dare try to stroke him while he was driving, but Henrik still felt her hand gripping his leg on the short drive, the need dripping from her fingers so he could feel it bubbling up in himself.

"What's gotten into you?"

She grinned at him cheekily, while they were stopped at a red light.

"You look yummy today."

He laughed. "You're going to make us late for our reservations! We agreed I was just going to drop you home after class and then pick you up later?"

She pouted at him. "Please? Promise it won't take long."

He groaned, and her victorious smirk meant she knew he'd caved. He couldn't deny her anything.

When they reached her flat, they were no sooner fumbling with each others clothes than they were hastily throwing open the door, and making their way to Astrid's bedroom.

By the time Henrik was falling onto the bed, legs dangling over the side and Astrid clambering to straddle him, they were both barechested and heaving, as she worked at unbuckling his pants. As she discarded his pants, and then his boxers, his head fell back on the bed, hands fisting in the sheets as she finally gripped his needy cock in her hand.

She stroked him at a maddeningly slow pace, her touch feather light, and making his whole body tighten in desperation to have her do _more._ Groaning and gasping for air, he placed a hand over hers, forcing her to squeeze him more, to give him at least some relief. His hips started bucking in her hand, and she did almost nothing to help him, until he was thrusting at a pace that foretold his oncoming release. He was so close, his precum leaking all over their hands, when she finally pushed him away, and started pumping him furiously, her tongue circling his head and lapping at all the leaking juices that oozed down his shaft. Her mouth closed over him as he bucked and shouted, thrusting into her mouth as much as he could, his come finally spilling from him, filling her mouth as she sucked him dry. And didn't stop until he was gently tugging her away at the overstimulation.

"Astrid." He was heaving.

But then he heard her gasp as well.

"How are you still hard!"

"Ah. Um yeah, that happens sometimes... Ill need a cold shower or something..."

He covered his face, feeling a little awkward.

"Its not that that wasn't absolutely fantastic, I just, yeah. I don't know why sometimes."

When he peaked at her face, she was staring at him so adoringly he almost felt her gaze like a physical heat on his skin. But then she reached to pull his arm away from his face and kissed him, sending all his worries flying out the door.

After their kiss grew hungrier, Henrik decided to start moving his assault down her body. Kissing her jaw, then her neck, sending shivers down her body, when he reached her collarbone, he sucked a bruise into her skin just beneath it, then moved on to her soft mounds gently squeezing and kissing and rubbing them.

When he reached her stomach, he peppered open mouthed kisses down a straight line passing over her belly button. Reaching her waist band he looked back up at her face, asking permission to rip her clothes off, she nodded at him, and he yanked her pants down to her knees, underwear coming with them. When she was bare, he wasted no time in moving straight to her core. She might enjoy teasing him with not enough, but he loved pouring so much into his assault on her body that it was almost too much for her to bear. He placed firm kisses to her clit, sucking the nub in as he did, and then his tongue was dipping inside her and lapping at her slick centre, from base to clit, over and over again. He could feel her legs trembling as he held her thighs open and so moved to focus his mouth on her pearl. fingers snaking across her legs to reach her, dipping two fingers into her while he began to suck, rubbing his tongue back and forth against it from within his cheeks. His pace was furious, and Astrid was coming undone within minutes. Calling out his name as she came, her body arching and writhing beneath him and he revelled in it. Watched her beautiful face with her eyes squeezed shut and her mouth open in a musical moan.

When her body finally stilled save for a few jerky twitches as his fingers slid out of her and his tongue swiped over her one last time, she looked back at him as he crawled up her body for a kiss.

Before he could let her deepen it and drive him even more crazy, he broke away and stepped off the bed reaching for his clothes. The derisive grumble that came out of her made him laugh.

As he pulled on his shirt, he spoke.

"I am going home to get dressed now so that we can make it to dinner on time. I'll be back in an hour, so get ready. Hopefully you won't have too much trouble with that?"

He added in a low voice near her ear after pulling on his shirt, then grinned at her and kissed her on the cheek. She glared at him and swung her legs over the side of the bed as though trying to prove she was fine. But when she stood, it wasn't a moment before he was reaching for her as her knees buckled, and being in the midst of pulling on his pants, his balance had been compromised. With a yelp he sent them tumbling back onto the bed. He heard Astrid's gasp as he let out a string of apologies.

"Sorry! Sorry. Not the best idea with my legs tangled. Sorry."

He had fallen onto her in a position where her hand was able to feel a certain part of his body that he didn't have time to deal with just then.

"Hiccup, you're still hard! I thought it was just slow to go down before but you meant it literally just stays...?"

"Yes well, you try to watch you come until your knees are weak and not be aroused. But, well, it just never went down after you uh, blew me. It happens sometimes."

He saw her start to reach for him, but tapped her hands away.

"Astrid no! We are going to be late, and this is an important milestone for us. We can continue this afterwards, you insatiable creature."

"Look who's talking, Hick!"

"Well. I will deal with that on my own and be back in an hour to pick you up."

Astrid growled at him as though this was a sin. Her fingers biting into him where they rested in a possessive manner.

He chuckled at her and pecked another kiss on her cheek before pulling her hands off of him, and extricating himself from their tangle of limbs on the bed.

"One hour! Be ready, milady."

He said as he finally pulled his pants up, uncomfortably adjusting himself. He grabbed his bag and blew a kiss as he left her lying in a mess on the bed. Her grumpiness evident on her face, and making him laugh.

He was able to rush home, and finally jumped in a cold shower that only helped bring himself down to half mast.

Gods did he want her. but already the use of their mouths and hands had been unbelievable. He truly wanted to do this right, and wanted to show her that there was no need to rush things because neither of them were going anywhere.

And sure when they finally did go all the way, she wouldn't be his first, nor him hers. But each would be the first that really ever mattered, and that's why he wanted it to be perfect. Although if she kept torturing him like this, he wouldn't have it in him to slow down.


	8. Chapter 8

@CB73 don't worry, they won't be doing _just _that til their wedding day. ;)

warning: shameless smut ahead

**Chapter 8**

Hiccup had brought her to her favorite restaurant. Not a fancy place, but a little burger bar that was a few blocks away from campus. He had been the perfect gentleman, bringing her a small bouquet of flowers and getting her doors for her. Usually quite keen on independence, Astrid found she didn't mind when it was Hiccup doing those things for her. It was endearing only because she knew he understood better than anyone that she was capable of taking care of herself. He wasn't doing it to impress her, or as a show of masculinity, it was just a part of who he was.

But damn him for looking so unbelievably handsome in a button up shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. His messy hair was just begging for her to run her fingers through it until it was tangled and wild.

She only realized he was talking to her when he reached over and placed a hand over hers on the table.

"You okay?"

She grinned at him, giving his hand a gentle squeeze.

"More than okay. I'm wonderful. Sorry I spaced out for a second, I was imagining... _doing_ certain things to you."

She pulled his hand towards her mouth and gave his knuckle a teasing nibble, then laughed at his incredulous expression.

"But yeah, you were saying about your mom, please continue I promise I'll behave."

He laughed.

"I doubt that, but okay. I was just saying mom called me last night and told me about her new volunteering gig at an animal rescue. I'd love to go visit her there... But anyway while we were talking I think she could hear in my voice that something has changed, I guess I sounded a little more excited than usual. She kept asking me if I had a new girlfriend, and trying to pry into what was going on with school and friends."

Astrid gave his hand another squeeze as she chewed on some of her french fries. Thinking for a moment.

"I guess you didn't tell her?"

"No, I didn't, because I technically don't have a girlfriend yet. Which leads me to my next question..."

He took a deep breath, but continued smoothly.

"Astrid will you officially accept the title of my girlfriend? So we can be exclusive and official."

She chuckled at him as she held his gaze and leaned across the narrow table to kiss him.

"Did you think that I was kissing anyone else while we spent almost every day together? Of course I'll be your girlfriend."

Astrid was beaming at him. She was ecstatic to finally be even closer to her favorite person after all this time of longing for it. Her heart soared even higher when his eyes brightened, and it was only then that she realized he must have been nervous to ask. Astrid mentally facepalmed. Of course he was, this was Hiccup- he was always nervous around her, even if they had made a lot of progress over the past week. While he was more himself around her now, she still noticed his occasional hesitation, the uncertainty when he wanted to take the lead in something they did together. She actively encouraged him, hoping to break him out of his shell.

There was a noticeable shift in how he held himself then, tension in his shoulders seeming to roll off him in waves until he sat more comfortably in his bench.

"I take it you still want to keep this on the down low even though we're official? Our parents can be a lot to handle."

He nodded, in between bites of burger.

"Yeah, I'm not sure I'm ready for all the questioning, and for dad to start patting me on the back saying 'I knew ye had it in ye, son!' It's just not me to brag or be so open in talking about any of this."

Astrid was laughing at the impression of his father, noting how spot on it was. Still chuckling as she stopped a passing waiter and ordered two beers, she turned back to him.

"Yeah I get it, our intimate lives aren't something I need to broadcast to the world either. But your mom would be understanding, Hiccup, she's a lot like you. Whenever you do feel ready I think you should talk to her first, and I'll be right there with you if you'd like me to be."

The warmth in his eyes when he smiled at her was almost overwhelming. It made her crave the solitude of one of their apartments, and stoked the growing fire in her belly. She loved him. Was absolutely certain of it, always had and always would, but didn't want to throw that at him just yet when he was adamant they go _slow._ When he very clearly wasn't ready to jump to his father's expectations they be married and having kids by now. She felt the warmth of her feelings jolt through the rest of her body, spreading to the tips of her fingers and down to her toes, and wanted only one more thing tonight.

By the time their burgers were gone, Astrid was also a couple of beers deep, and fidgeting excessively. Hiccup had downed just the one beer more than an hour ago, refusing any more for the sake of driving them home safely. They had asked for the bill but the service was slow, and the longer it took, the more antsy she got. She had started to rub her foot up and down his leg, but found it completely unsatisfying and not nearly as teasing for him as she wanted. After another few minutes of waiting and distracted chatting, she slid into his bench to get closer, and now had her face pressed to his neck and hand trailing lightly over his chest. Her lips pecked softly at the spot she _knew_ would rile him up, listening to him groan and try to push her hands away from certain... lower extremities.

"Astrid can you please wait until we get home, you're killing me here."

When the waiter finally came back to take their payment, he had to clear his throat for them to notice. Henrik drawing away from their blistering kiss with flushed cheeks and swollen lips.

It took all her focus and energy not to mount him right then and there. So she settled on teasing him, the few beers in her not nearly enough to cloud her judgment, but making her warm and giddy. She wanted him. Tonight they were crossing off another first.

xxx

"Ast-Hmph!"

He was silenced with a warm mouth on his own. Her arms were firm around his neck, pulling him down to her height as his hands resigned to settle at her waist, while he melted into the kiss, arms slowly encircling her back to grip her closer to him while he leaned back against his car. She pressed herself between his legs and then he was gasping into her mouth as he felt her grind against his cock. She had moved her mouth to nip his earlobe as she rutted again, sending all his blood south.

He could feel his head start to spin as she continued, at some point she had kissed him again, and now he was feeling breathless.

A door closed nearby, and the sound of a wolf whistle jerked them back to reality.

"I think it's time to get home, yeah?"

He gently tugged her away from the door to open it, then crosed to the other side of the car to get in himself.

"My place or yours?"

He watched her contemplate for a second as he started the car.

"Mine. You already have extra clothes there from what I've stolen from you. Plus, Heather is staying at a friends tonight since she was a bit scarred by how loud we were after class today."

Her devilish grin did nothing to ease his uncomfortably tight trousers.

The drive was not a long one, but Astrid had decided she wanted to tease him until he was already leaking in his pants, making it feel like an eternity before they were pulling onto her street. Her hands had been roaming his body, gliding and scraping at all the spots she _knew _would drive him mad. Nails at the back of his neck, fingers pressing gently where his earlobe met his jaw, and of course her hands around his belt every time they were stopped at a red light. He was breathless by the time he was turning the car off, but Astrid gave him no time to rest as she was climbing onto his lap before he could open his car door. The kiss he was met with was scalding, drawing a deep flush all the way down to his chest. She started to rock against him in the tight space and he groaned into her mouth, fingers tightening against her hips. His erection was now painfully trapped by his jeans and he couldn't handle the extra pressure of her body against him. She leaned back to search his face.

"You okay?"

He was panting and lightheaded, but managed to gasp, "Jeans! Too tight."

He was met with a kiss in response and then felt her shifting her body off of him as the door opened. The cool night air refreshing him and letting him think a little straighter. Oh gods, they were moving fast. He had planned to settle in for a movie and some cuddling after their dinner tonight, or maybe some music and a drink depending on her mood, but now there was only one thing on his mind.

Astrid. He had to have her.

He was barely aware of her dragging him up the steps to reach her flat before the door was clicking shut behind him, and his back was being shoved against the wood as Astrid leapt on him. He loved her being dominant, found it sexy as hell and so utterly Astrid. But he also liked teasing her and fighting for that dominance just to see her take it back. So he gripped her waist and spun them, pressing her firmly into the door while he kissed down her neck, her chest, before he was pulling down her dress to reveal her bare breasts. As he ran his thumbs over hardened nipples and took the care to kiss and suck at each one, Astrid moved to free him from the confines of his pants, unbuckling his belt and unzipping him.

He hissed around her nipple in relief when she finally pushed his jeans down over his hips, his boxers tented and wet around the head of his shaft with his precum.

Astrid's soft gasps as he worked her chest ceased when he moved back up to kiss her neck. He wanted her right then. But he wanted her to ask for it, didn't want to be the one to push for it if she only wantedsomething else. Luckily he wasn't waiting long.

"Henrik... Henrik _please_. Fuck me, I need you."

He was grinning against her neck then, but took his time to tease her a little more as his mouth roamed higher.

"What, here?"

"_Yes!_ Please, gods... I need you inside me _right now._"

Her words washed over him and a new feral lust took over. He growled in her ear and shoved her dress up over her hips while she pulled his boxers down, letting his cock spring free. He moaned when he saw she wasn't wearing any underwear.

Reaching for her waist he paused.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Hiccup!"

As he lifted her, dress scrunched around her mid section, her legs wrapped around his waist. As he shoved his pants and boxers a little farther down one handed, he leaned into the door to help support her weight.

He slid one finger through her slit to test her readiness, and felt her shiver beneath his hands in anticipation. She was almost dripping in arousal, and then he was inside her in one smooth thrust, Astrid crying out in joy. His movements started slow, but it didn't take long for Astrid to be reduced to begging again.

"Faster, Hick. Please- Harder!"

His brain barely registered that she was talking to him, could focus on seldom more than the way her warm, wet center was clenching around his cock like a vice. But as she started to move with him and tried to push into each thrust with what little purchase she had, he got the message and quickened his movements, spearing into her deep and fast, all previous notions of doing _anything_ slowly flying out the window.

He could feel the sweat start to pool on his lower back, shirt damp and clinging to him as he continued pounding into her. face pressed into her neck as he listened to her moan and continue to beg.

"_More. _Please..._Harder. _I'm clo... close."

The pace he continued at was furious, his muscles starting to cramp with the motions under her added weight, but he couldn't slow down as his body completely took over. Seeking the blissful release he so desperately craved, feeling it close as his insides began to clench and tighten.

A few thrusts later and she was coming with a yell, legs shaking around his waist and body writhing in his arms as he felt her silken insides clench around his shaft, pushing him to bury his shaft as deep as he could reach as he spilled into her with a final thrust, grunting against her neck. Her muscles continued to spasm and grip him, milking him as more of his seed poured into her.

They stayed locked in each others arms as they caught their breath, coming down from the high of their shared climax.

Henrik lifted Astrid off of him, and set her down when he felt her trembling legs still. He kept an arm around her to ensure she stayed steady, feeling as though her legs were probably jelly-like as they often were post-orgasm.

Searching her face to ensure she was okay, he was met with glimmering blue eyes and a smile. He leaned in for a gentle kiss, but it quickly grew in intensity and he was soon pressing needily into her again. His cock still stood at attention, still pulsing and seeking another release.

Astrid noticed as it slid against her thigh, wet with a mixture of both of their fluids. Her eyes snapped to his and she grinned at him.

"Mmm I think I'm going to enjoy this new found talent of yours."

She licked her lips suggestively and then grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her bedroom, Henrik had to awkwardly hop and kick his pants off as he went, leaving them in a heap on the hallway floor.

xxx

Luckily that night Astrid was just as insatiable as Hiccup, her arousal reaching new heights. By the time they made it to her bedroom, all their clothes had been discarded, and they had fallen onto her bed in a heap.

Astrid had never reached such levels of bliss, Henrik had given her orgasm after orgasm until she had felt utterly spent and satisfied. She had barely felt him move in between the rise and fall of each, but she vaguely remembered him bringing her off with his hands, and mouth, as well as his hips slotting between her thighs, until it all blurred together in her memory as if it were one massive, unreplicable climax.

The only clear memory she had of their coupling was of the feeling of Hiccup's pace beginning to falter in his furious thrusting, and of all thoughts except the complete desire to feel him explode within her again leaving her brain. She had wrapped her legs around his waist and arched into him as the mindblowing orgasm took over, induced by the feeling of his warm come filling her, her name being repeated next to her ear so that she couldn't tell if he was chanting her name or cursing it with every breath as he let go.

They had made a real mess of her bedsheets, their bodies covered in a mixture of sweat and come as Hiccup had released more than either of them were aware he was capable of. Astrid's thighs were sticky with what had dripped from her slit, but she was so unbelievably exhausted she could only leave that as a mess for herself to clean up tomorrow. As they curled up together, finally spent but utterly content at how much closer they'd grown with the new intimacy.


	9. Chapter 9

Henrik woke that morning feeling utterly satisfied. He couldn't believe the way their night had ended, could hardly believe the heights they'd reached were real. Was sex supposed to feel _that _good? Man he had been missing out.

He shifted in bed and felt their dried mess on himself, wincing at just how much he had spilled. Not that he had _many_ previous experiences to go by, but that final orgasm was the best he had ever had. There was no way it could ever get better than that.

He turned to look at Astrid's sleeping face, brushing the fringe out of her eyes and gently stroking her hair so as not to wake her. Eventually her breathing became a little less even and slow and she sighed and purred under his gentle touch. Henrik was in awe of her, thought she couldn't possibly look more beautiful than she did right then, with the morning sun streaming through the window, making her blonde hair look like strings of gold.

He stayed like that for a while, carressing her hair while she hummed and wakefulness slowly overtook her. She finally blinked her eyes open at him, and he barely moved but to smile, wanting to frame the moment in his memory. She gazed back at him with matched intensity, until finally breaking the spell as she climbed closer to kiss him, her bare chest pressing to his own. It was much sweeter than any of the rough and needy kisses they'd shared the night before, but still loaded with emotions. He pulled away to look at her again, a small thought niggling at the back of his mind that he finally grasped.

"We didn't use condoms."

He said it without a hint of worry in his voice, knew the repercussions could be life-changing, could force his life to take the path his father desperately tried to make him follow. But for once, he wasn't afraid or anxious, knew that there was no one at all he would rather face his father with. Knew that last night the thought had occurred to him as well, but when she had cried out for him to finish inside her and wrapped her legs around him, he just couldn't bring himself to care.

Her eyes flashed with something that looked a bit like sorrow and she looked away, then explained while still avoiding his gaze.

"My cycle has been extremely irregular my whole life, my doctor told me I'd most likely need help to conceive one day... He recommended I get tested at a fertility clinic, but I haven't been able to bring myself to go..." Her voice cracked at the end, more revealing of her feelings about the issue than her words- Astrid was rarely one to outright say something so personal upset her. "I doubt we have to worry about that, but I guess we should pick up condoms just in case. Maybe get tested too, even though I've only been with one person and never without protection."

She stole a glance back down at him, having made herself comfortable lying across his chest as she spoke, and he couldn't help but feel a pang in his chest at the saddness in her eyes. The hint of fear he so rarely saw from her shining back at him.

"Hey." He said, brushing his fingers through her hair at the side of her face and gently grasping to pull her lips down to his. "It's okay. It's okay." He whispered to her as she let her forehead fall onto his, eyes closed, taking one deep shuddering breath.

He pressed more kisses to her cheeks, her nose, her chin, anywhere he could reach. Finally another to her lips.

"We can figure out that road when we get there. Agh. That sounded almost like a proposal. I'm sorry I'm not thinking of having children with you... It's only been a week."

He groaned. Knowing he was making no sense.

She laughed lightly, and he calmed at the sound, smiled up at her in apology.

"Henrik, I think we need to throw this rule of taking it slow out the window. We've known each other our whole lives. I am absolutely sure that I _love_ you. We just had sex on our first date, against my front door for Thor's sake, and without condoms. I am certain, I would not rather _anyone _else but you."

His heart rate increased at her words and warmth spread like wildfire through his chest as his heart exploded with joy. Suddenly overcome with his emotions he grabbed her waist and flipped her under him, pressing sweet kisses to her eyes, her nose, her cheeks, and her chin before moving finally to her lips.

"Oh gods." Another peck. "I love you." Another. "I love you. I love you. I love you." He peppered her face until she was giggling beneath him, finally pulling him to her mouth and kissing him deeply. Wrapping her arms around his back and splitting her thighs as he got comfortable atop her, a certain member stirring between them down below. She hooked her ankles around his hips with a grin, gasped when he slid easily inside her, his hips twitching with the feeling, her back arching.

His pace was infinitely slower than the night before, spearing her _so _slowly open on his shaft before dragging out his exit until she was squirming for more. He whispered I love you in her ear with each thrust, until she was desperately clutching him to her, legs locked so tight he could do naught but _grind_ his hips against hers, adding gyrations to his hips to increase their pleasure. His hips slotted between her thighs just right for his abdomen to rub her clit just right.

It quickly brought her to pieces as she came around him, trembling beneath his hands on her hips as he clutched her to him. The way her walls spasmed around his cock led him quickly to the edge, her cry of, "Come... Inside!" easily forcing his fall with her into a powerful climax as he buried himself as deep as he could, spilling with a rush as he cried one last "_I love you!" _in her ear.

After a moment, he rolled onto his back next to her, panting and sweaty.

Astrid let out a long puff of air next to him.

"We really need a shower. And i need to throw everything on this bed in the wash. C'mon."

She was easily climbing out of bed, tugging his hand along to follow her, but he noticed her legs were a bit wobbly as she took the first few steps toward the bathroom. Grinning to himself, he snatched her up in his arms and spun her so she was draped over his shoulder as he carried her to the bathroom. She gave a derisive yelp, swatted at his backside and then laughed. He placed her down in the shower and stepped in behind her, fiddling with the nobs until the water was running.

After they'd used up the hot water and had massaged and lathered each other to limp relaxation, they were working together to strip her bed of all it's sheets and linens. The actions so domestic Henrik found it strange how normal he felt. Next they were picking up their discarded clothing by the front door, both dressed in fluffy robes. Astrid was chuckling as she grabbed his pants off the floor.

"It's a good thing Heather didn't come home last night. I don't think she'd be able to look me in the eye again."

"Not to mention the fact you were quite loud." Henrik said with a proud grin.

Astrid looked surprised. "Was I really?"

"What, you don't remember?"

He moved closer to her, pressing her against the door once more. "You yell when you come." Kisses placed along her neck and collarbone. "You moan when I spill into you." A bite to her collar, a bruise sucked into her skin as she gasped and let her head fall back against the door. "And you shout for me to finish inside you everytime you feel the rhythm of my hips falter." He was grinding his hips into her, working them both up as they began kissing fervently and the clothes dropped from Astrid's arms.

They were startled apart by a knock at the door.

Grumbling, Astrid turned to answer it. He laughed and gave her a quick peck on the cheek as he went to gather the bundle of clothes from the ground. As he was walking towards her bedroom though, he heard Astrid gasp.

"Connor!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The silence after the initial surprise seemed to stretch on for hours as Henrik turned to look at the person in her doorway. It was deafening, and the sight he was met with made his stomach twist in guilt. Connor's eyes looked hollow and dark, like he hadn't slept well in a month. He definitely looked thinner than usual as well, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides, shaking as he spotted Hiccup standing in her apartment, wearing nothing but a robe and holding a mixture of their discarded clothing in his arms. The anger that flashed through his eyes was intense and surprising, he had never even seen the guy yell in the two years he'd known him.

Connor's gaze turned back on Astrid.

"Seriously?" He spat venemously. "It's been less than a month since we broke up and you already have him in your bed? You told me it wasn't because of him that you left. I came here to see if we could work this out, because I haven't been able to _sleep_ since you left! All this time you've been with him! Probably didn't even lose a minutes rest. I can't believe I fell for it right from the beginning. 'He's only a _friend_ Connor, you've _nothing_ to worry about, he's practically family.' I should have known you were just _using_ me for _two years!_"

"Connor, I didn't-"

"Didn't _what_, Astrid? Didn't love me? I knew I was never going to measure up to the boy everyone expected you to be with, now I see you used me to hide behind a lie. I can't believe I ever loved you."

With that he turned on his heel and left. The sound of him rushing down the stairs echoing through the apartment. Astrid stood there with a white knuckled grip on the front door, unmoving. Henrik slowly walked towards her and pried her hand free to shut the door. Turned to hold her as she finally started sobbing, squeezing her to his chest as she howled. A moment later she started fighting him, twisting in his arms and trying to push him off of her. He let his arms drop and tried to speak instead.

"Astrid..."

"No! Get away from me!"

His chest squeezed at that and he backed off. Perching on the armrest of her couch helplessly as she cried in the middle of the room, grasping the wall for support. She sobbed for a while like that, before finally slumping to the floor as her shoulders wracked with her heaving. Another long while as he sat, on edge, his heart breaking with the despair she released, and then she was finally silent. Tears still streamed from her closed eyes but he figured she would be too tired to fight him now. So he crossed the room to her and scooped her up in his arms, before bringing her to bed, where he tucked her in as she whimpered. Placing a soft kiss to her forehead, he left to make her some tea.

As the water boiled he finally gathered their clothes and tossed them in the wash, retrieving their previously soiled bed sheets as well.

A whole mess of emotions bolted through him then. Connor had been his friend too for the past two years. He didn't want to hurt the guy, could understand Astrid's despair for causing him such pain. He knew as well that Connor's accusations had struck too close to the truth not to make them both feel guilty. As he went back to the kettle to pour the tea, he knew it would take them a while to get through this. Astrid was one to fight her emotions and would need time.

His eyes pricked with tears, but he willed them not to fall. She would need him to be strong.

When he made his way to her room with the tea, he found her unmoving, staring at the ceiling blankly. So quiet that the light thud of him gently placing the mug down startled her.

"I want you to go."

She spoke so quietly he almost didn't hear her.

"Astrid... You shouldn't be alone right now, I don't want to leave you."

"No." Stronger this time. "No, I don't deserve you, everything he said was true and I want you to go."

The fist around his heart squeezed tighter. He leaned over her, kissed her forehead and whispered in her ear, "I love you, no matter what. I'll give you some space but I'll be back tomorrow to check in with you."

Another lingering kiss to her cheek and then he turned to go. Hesitating once at her door when he looked back to see her eyes clenched shut and silent tears streaming from them.

xxx

Heather shut the door behind her with a long sigh. It had been a long day after sleeping at Romy's place, Tommy had shown up in the middle of the night to play a prank on them. To say the least, Heather had not been thrilled to wake up to him yelling about an emergency and then having a feather bomb dumped on her head at three o'clock in the morning. She hadn't slept well after that and had almost missed her first class that morning. Hopefully Astrid and Hiccup had had a better day than she did, but next time they had date night she was sending them to Hick's place afterward. She needed her sleep, and a safe, prank free environment.

Discarding her jacket and book bag by the door, she called for Astrid.

"Hey! I'm home, so you guys better not be naked in the kitchen or something!"

There was no reply. Strange. Maybe they had ended up at Hiccup's place in the end?

"Astrid?" She called once more to make sure, but heard a muffled sniffle come from her bedroom in the silent house. She went to open Astrid's door and found her alone in bed, the curtains drawn and the lights off. Another sniffle. Heather's heart dropped. Something was wrong, where was Hiccup? She moved to sit on the edge of her bed, Astrid's back to her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"What happened?"

She turned onto her back and stared at the ceiling, eyes puffy and red with what Heather was able to see from the light spilling in through the open doorway.

"I'm a terrible person. I don't deserve Henrik. I sent him away."

Her eyes shut then and tears began leaking down her cheeks.

"What? Astrid! You're one of the best people I know, I thought things were going well with Hiccup?"

Astrid nodded her head, eyes still squeezed shut.

"Then what?"

Just one word uttered with a croaking voice and a tremor, "Connor."

xxx

Astrid began sobbing then, couldn't hold it back when telling her best friend. She was upset with herself, upset she had caused Connor pain when he had been nothing but good to her, and she truly had enjoyed his company. But he was never going to be Henrik and Astrid knew it from the start. How could she ever let herself be with Henrik knowing she'd caused someone else she cared for so much pain? What if she hurt him too?

She had known she was using Connor but tried her very best to make sure he knew she was more interested in a casual relationship, told him many times she was still young and didn't know where she would be in a few years. Clearly he had still gotten more attached than she'd expected, and she really was to blame for it all. She should've known.

She should not be forgiven for this. Her heart was absolutely bursting with guilt and shame, and there was nothing she could do to make it up to Connor. Astrid doubted she would ever feel worthy enough to let Henrik love her either, even though that's all she wanted.

At some point during her sobbing Heather had climbed into bed with her, and was holding her tight. Astrid couldn't tell her how grateful she was through her tears, just grasped her tight when she crossed an arm over her chest, held her close until her tears dried and evening swallowed the room in darkness.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

A week had passed since Connor had shown up at Astrid's door. Almost a week since he had even seen her. Henrik stared blankly at the paper on his desk. He was supposed to be studying, but his mind had been elsewhere all week, making it extremely difficult to concentrate. She hadn't shown up to any of her classes, hadn't answered any of his texts or calls.

He'd been over to check in with her on the weekend, but now it was Friday again. She had told him to leave after crying the whole time he was there, and that was the most response he got for anything he said. He could still feel the ache in his chest and the lump in his throat that had caused his own tears to fall that day.

As far as he knew from Heather, she had withdrawn from everything, hadn't left the house, and her mood hadn't changed in the slightest.

He shoved the paper away, he had drawn her yet again in his state of distraction. It had become quite a habit those last few days, and he had to be mindful of doing it in class since most of the time his drawings were of her in the nude. They were strikingly more beautiful than the ones he'd drawn for himself in private before really knowing what she'd looked like underneath her clothes, finally capturing her as she was. He ached for her whenever he looked at those pictures, just wanted the skin to skin contact he'd experienced with her the week prior. He would even settle for just holding her hand if she'd let him.

Giving up on studying, Henrik went to make himself lunch. Feeling the emptiness of his apartment screaming at him.

xxx

Astrid rolled over in bed. She had barely gotten up all week and felt a bit dizzy if she was being honest with herself. But she had no desire to fix that. She deserved every bit of pain she was feeling.

What was she to do about Connor? She figured she definitely owed him _something_. Some explanation, apology, something. She couldn't figure out what she would even say, the hatred in his eyes when he looked at her had been intense. She'd never seen him hate anyone, hold a grudge, had never heard him yell before.

While Connor wasn't one to get angry or spiteful, Astrid was. And how was she to explain to Henrik that the whole reason she had dated Connor in the first place wasn't just to get her best friend back, it was a little bit out of resentment that Henrik couldn't find it in him to ask her out?

Astrid should have just been patient. This was all her fault and she knew it. That guilt was starting to eat at her, keeping her awake at night. The last decent sleep she'd had was after her and Hiccup's first real date. She couldn't help but feel as though that whole week they'd been together was a dream, and now she was waking up to reality.

She flipped over on her bed and felt a new wave of dizziness hit her.

"Unggghhh."

"Astrid?" Heather. She must have just come in from her classes.

"Yeah," she called out weakly.

Her door opened to Heather, looking slightly saddened, but also impatient. The mixture felt a lot like pity.

"Astrid, don't you think you should get up soon? You haven't eaten a real meal in days, and this is so unlike you. Just wallowing in self pity."

"I am not!"

Heather raised an eyebrow at her, then sighed. Sitting on the edge of her bed, she raised her arms to invite her into a hug.

"Do you wanna talk to me? Maybe I can help you work through it."

Astrid grumbled a bit then rolled onto her back as Heather's arms dropped back to her sides with a disappointed thump.

Her stomach rumbled.

Heather sighed. "I'm going to cook something for you, please eat for me if not for yourself. And go take a shower, you need to get up and catch up on school."

The bed dipped back up as Heather stood to leave. Astrid shut her eyes tight and tried to hold in the tears that continued to leak out to no avail. She did not deserve people who cared so much about her. Who were willing to dote on her or give her the tough love they knew she needed. She would just hurt them in the end.

Astrid groaned at the aches she felt in her limbs from not moving them in so long as she tossed in her bed. After 20 minutes of failed attempts to get comfortable enough to nap and only making her dizziness worse with all the tossing and turning, she was finally so frustrated that she just decided to get up and take Heather's advice.

On shaky legs, she followed the smell of Heather's delicious cooking, and almost yelled at the brightness of the hallway outside her room. She had forgotten what real daylight looked like, and almost passed out as the sensation added to her dizziness.

Following the wall to find the kitchen as her arm was draped over her eyes, Astrid almost tripped on a schoolbag left in the hallway and cursed as she regained her balance.

Heather rushed out as she was blinking in the light, her eyes finally beginning to adjust.

"Astrid!"

"I'm fine! I'm fine!" She grumbled under her breath about the stupid backpack that almost made her break her neck just as she finally was able to focus on it. It was hers. "Oh."

Heather saw her look down at her own bag and laughed. "C'mon. It's almost ready." And with that grabbed her arm to help guide her to the dining table.

xxx

Astrid was still picking at her food, and pushing it around on her plate more than actually eating anything when there was a knock at the door.

Glancing up at Heather who was already rising from her seat to answer it, she said, "Please tell Hiccup if it's him that I don't have the energy to see him right now."

"You'd have the energy if you were actually eating anything I made for you." She said tersely.

Astrid's heart twisted in her chest. Gods, when would she be able to stop hurting her friends? She felt sick to her stomach as Heather reached the door and she heard Hiccup's voice. He sounded dejected and desperate as Heather told him it wasn't a good time. It was like a punch to the gut to hear him sigh and say goodbye. No. She deserved this pain. And Hiccup deserved better than she could give him right now. She needed to fix this mess before letting people in again. Before Heather was able to make it back to the kitchen, she slipped down the hall to shower. It was time to fix her mess.


	12. Chapter 12

**sorry for a short chapter, and such a long time since updates last year. I am doing my best to make it more consistent. Thank you to all who continue to follow this story :)**

* * *

**Chapter 12**

Another two weeks had passed and Astrid was starting to panic. She basically never looked at her phone anymore, couldn't bare to see all the worried texts from Hiccup. The reminders from Heather to eat while she was at school. Wouldn't dare to check if Connor had texted her.

Everything was starting to catch up to her and she could feel herself beginning to spiral. Midterms were coming up in less than three weeks, and she had barely made it to her lectures over the past month. It was too unbearable to sit in her usual seat next to Hiccup and pretend like she was able to listen to the professor when all she could think about was how she was still hurting everyone around her in her failure to own up to her mistakes.

She was feeling awful every day.

And she knew that it was guilt eating at her. That the only way through it was to be honest with everyone. But she choked up every time she thought about what she'd done to Connor. She knew he deserved the truth but she felt so undeniably guilty about his absolutely valid claim that she had wanted Hiccup the whole time they had been an item. It was a double edged blade to feel so guilty about Connor that she didn't feel good enough for Hiccup anymore.

She'd briefly talked to him about just needing more time, but if she was being honest with herself, she didn't know if she would ever find herself worthy of his love, and she missed him more and more every day. Felt his absence like a weight in her chest just like she had every time he had gotten too shy to talk to her in their youth. Except this time, it was Astrid's fault for pushing him away.

If they'd just taken it slow like Hiccup had wanted, maybe she wouldn't be in this mess.

Then there was the added stress she felt from potentially failing her looming exams, and everytime she thought about that it just made her brain foggy.

At least she had actually been eating somewhat again. Her hunger had returned with a force like no other yesterday. And Astrid had eaten so much in one sitting she'd puked. Exasperated, she made a mental note to add eating slowly to her growing list of things to do.

xxx

Hiccup could not stop staring at Astrid when she walked in to class that day. She always had a slight panicked look in her eyes lately. But it had probably been almost two full weeks since he had seen her last and his chest ached as he tried to drink in her presence before she sat down.

He knew from the slump in her shoulders and the curve in her normally perfect posture that everything she was trying to work out on her own was beginning to really weigh her down. He was glad that she was at least eating again, which he'd heard from Heather. Knew that was at least one step in the right direction. He tried to smile weakly at her as she sat down, did his best to convey that he could wait and give her the time and space she needed to heal, and then faced forward as the professor walked in and got started. He knew as well that at least one of the things causing the panic in her eyes was probably their upcoming tests, so he did his best to focus in case she needed his help to study.

When class was dismissed he could feel the desperation in her as she huffed and closed her books. She was not prepared and clearly frustrated. And while Hiccup had told himself he was going to give her whatever space she wanted and wait until she came to him, he couldn't help his desire to help her in any way he could. Knowing Astrid's pride was her biggest downfall, he steeled his nerves and offered softly, "Hey, I know you still want some time and space, but why don't I come over to help you catch up on the course? I promise to only talk school and I'll leave as soon as you're too tired or need a break." He held up one hand and placed the other on his chest to show his sincerity. She had barely glanced at him while he spoke, still putting her books in her bag. He could see the slight reluctance in her downcast eyes, but knew when she glanced up that she was ready to accept some of the help she clearly needed.

"Okay," she said. "Let's go to my place."


	13. Chapter 13

When Hiccup offered her some help in catching up on school, she knew she couldn't afford to turn him down. But she was terribly scared to even think about having him in her apartment again, and spending time with him without being able to just let loose and have fun. She was afraid of her own self control when she knew the right thing to do was to talk to Connor first, then work things out with Hiccup. She wasn't sure she would be able to hold herself together to focus only on school, but when she thought about her upcoming exams the panic in her chest told her she needed to accept some help. After so long of being in a daze, she needed to at least get back on track in one area of life.

When they got to her place, she went straight for the kitchen table and started unpacking her books, still a little unsure of herself and unwilling to meet his eyes as she asked him if he wanted a drink.

"Just water, thanks."

She nodded and moved to grab a glass. The formality was foreign to her around Hiccup. They were so used to making themselves at home in each others personal spaces having known each other so long, and the stark contrast between the last time he was over just made her stomach clench at the strangeness. She tried to cover the frown on her face when she caught him watching her out of the corner of his eyes, but she wasn't sure how convincing it was. With a sigh, she passed him a glass of water and sat down, where Hiccup already had his books open. She was grateful he didn't say anything unrelated to school, as she knew she didn't have the energy. She wondered if he understood that without being told, and a tightness spread in her chest.

As he opened a textbook, drumming nervous fingers delicately on the table, he said "Alright, here we go."

His bright smile while timid, sparked a flame of hope in her heart, giving her the energy she needed to focus.

xxx

They had reviewed the course content for _five_ hours, and Astrid thought her brain was going to explode. With a groan, she let her forehead fall out of her hands to hit the table.

"Please just feed me to a dragon or something, gods I don't think I'll be ready for these exams."

She heard Hiccup's chuckle next to her as she stared at her feet, noticing in her peripheral vision when he shifted and made to reach for her shoulder, but then thought better of it and let his arm drop back to the table.

"Astrid you'll be prepared. We've already covered a lot of what you missed in one day! I have total faith in you."

She looked up as he said that and the glimmer in his eyes when he looked at her made her miss the comfort of his arms around her. She longed to reach for him but held back. Knowing it wouldn't be right. Thankfully their gaze was broken when her stomach growled audibly and she had a good excuse to take a break. Feeling slightly more at ease with him in her apartment than when he'd first entered, but still sensing some tension in the air, she was able to offer him some warmed up leftovers that Heather had left for her for dinner without feeling so awkward. Handing him a plate, she sat down and began scarfing down her food, attempting to ease the ravenous feeling in her stomach. It wasn't until she had almost completely finished her plate that she glanced to see Hiccup's with hardly a dent in it, that she realized her mistake. As she felt the weight of the food move down through her, her stomach almost immediately turned over with it and a bout of nausea hit her all at once.

"Oh no."

She said weakly, clutching at a pain in her abdomen. Everything started to fade as the energy drained out of her and only the thought of reaching the bathroom remained. Attempting to run but stumbling, a pair of warm arms encircled her and seemed to know exactly what she needed. Half carrying her to the bathroom as she felt the bile rise in her throat, she barely noticed Hiccup was the one helping her as she reached for the cold porcelain to cling to as she heaved. After her dinner had almost entirely resurfaced and she was left dry heaving, with tears running down her eyes at the pain and desperation to breathe, she began to notice her surroundings again. And what she felt most was the unwavering warmth of a hand against her back. Rubbing soothing circles while his other hand held her braid away from the bowl. She allowed herself a moment of weakness, leaning into the warmth at her head that supported her and allowed the air to fill her lungs, taking slow deep breaths as the last of the queasiness left her. Then she stood on shaky legs, feeling completely embarrassed and ashamed.

"Hiccup you should go." She couldn't look him in the eyes as she spoke the words.

xxx

Bewildered, his hand still on her for fear she might stumble, "What! Astrid there's no way-"

"Hiccup I'm fine. I haven't eaten much in almost three weeks. My body is just not accustomed to sustenance and I ate too quickly. That's on me. I'll be fine."

"But-" He tried.

" '_I promise I'll leave as soon as you want me to Astrid._' " She mocked him.

He couldn't look away from her. She was definitely not herself and here she was pushing him away again when she was ill. Hiccup couldn't stand the exhaustion on her face, and felt anger in the pit of his stomach towards her for the first time since she'd started her pity party.

"No. Astrid I'm not leaving. I'm going to put you to bed and then sleep on the couch until Heather gets home, but I'm not leaving you alone!"

His voice had hardened. He was slightly frantic and could feel the worry pulsing through his veins, driving his anger. He was not going to allow her to push him away again. And he was definitely not allowing this to go on any longer. It was unlike her. Astrid was someone who was always sure of herself, and this ghost of her was not going to stay.

So no matter what she said, he resolved that he was not going to leave her tonight. Not when she was sick. He knew when Astrid was reaching her limit and he didn't believe this was just due to eating too fast. He stared at her downcast eyes and waited. There was no way he was backing down. Even if she wouldn't look at him.

"Okay." Her voice broke as she said it. And Hiccups heart did a little too as he sighed with relief and gently tugged her arm toward her bedroom.


End file.
